[nikomat 38222] 金の斧じゃなくってFA

[Shin SUGIYAMA <ssugiya@biol1.bio.nagoya-u.ac.jp>]

すぎやま　です
京都のオフミで川沿いを歩いていた時に馬込さんが言っていた「金のFA」のネタを
英語にして向こうのニコン関係のMLに投稿したところ
評判が良かったのでこちらにも出しておきます。
勝手に使ってすみません。
オフミで仕入れたことは告白してあります。

Once upon a time, many years ago in Kyoto,
there lived a very poor woodcutter who lived
along the shores of the Katsura River. The reason the woodcutter
was poor was because he was always taking pictures with his
beat-up  black eyelevel  Nikon F and not cutting much wood.
One day when he happened to actually be cutting wood,
the neckstrap of his camera broke, and it fell and sank into the
dark and murky flows of the river. Completely heartbroken
to loose his faithful and long time companion  the woodcutter
sat down on the bank of the river with tears streaming down his face.
After an unknown amount of time had passed, the wood cutter realized
that there was an old man standing in front of him in the waters.
The woodcutter did not know how long the old man had been watching him
and  felt uncomfortable noticing that there were water plants in the old man's
hair and beard and that he wore strange clothes of reeds and water lilies.
He was starting to think that a portrait of such a weird man might get him 
first place in the
monthly photo contest of Asahi Camera Magazine when all of a sudden,
  the old man who was actually the spirit of the river spoke out,
"What have you lost?" "I have lost my precious camera" replied the woodcutter,
  to which the old man responded by submerging into the depths of the  river.
This took the woodcutter by complete surprise and  he sat there not knowing 
what to do
for a few moments but the man soon emerged from the water again
holding a beautiful new-in-box condition silver-chrome Nikon S3/2000 and 
asked him,
"Is this your camera?". Most Japanese in the old days were honest so the 
woodcutter answered
"No, mine is a bargain grade black F". To this the old man silently sank 
into the water again
and then reemerged holding a Golden  Nikon FA with matching lens and box 
and instructions and
an unfilled eternal warranty card and asked "Is THIS your camera? The 
woodcutter had never
seen such a camera before and was still honest so he answered, "No I only 
use manual exposure."
The old man sank into the waters a third time and this time came back with 
the wood cutter's
old and trusty eyelevel F. Delighted to see his camera again the woodcutter 
exclaimed,"Yes, thats my Nikon!"
"You are a good man", said the spirit of the river, and gave the wood 
cutter back his F which was now
miraculously CLA-ed, and in addition  the silver S3 and the gold FA as well 
as a drab brown and gray
50th anniversary F5  all in an expensive  Billingham bag to carry  home.
The woodcutter sold all of the new stuff on Ebay with the "buy it now " option
and made enough so he didn't have to cut wood for a while and could spend 
all of his time in the darkroom of his hut.
The woodcutter's  neighbor who was not such an honest man happened to hear 
of this lucky episode
and took his old Canon F1 that he hardly ever shot with  anymore because he 
was now an EOS user,
and went to the same place along the river and tossed the poor camera in.
After what seemed like a long while, the old man spirit of the river 
emerged from the waters
holding the  F1 with a sad look on his face and said, "Sorry we don't 
service these anymore".
The End.